Thursday, March 27, 2008

WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: The Amazing Ten Second Haitian News Team Psychodrama

Maybe the first time you watch this clip it will seem mildly amusing. I mean, it's Haiti, so yes, pretty much everywhere it's gonna be hot. Of course! But, as was so astutely pointed out by one commenter on the original Defamer post where I originally saw this video, you need to watch it a few times and really pay attention to the subtle interplay of the three characters. First off, you've got the weatherman who may or may not be suffering the effects of a nickel bag-induced "low pressure system." Then you've got the woman who cracks the jacket joke who seems to be deliberately provoking the weatherman -- check his immediate reaction to her before he starts to laugh. Then you've got the guy sitting next to the woman who seems to be telling himself over and over "Smile and nod, smile and nod, smile and nod" as he prepares to say his next line, obviously tense and hoping that whatever beef the other two have with each other won't explode into some on-camera mess that he'll be forced to clean up. Add the fact that the fashions and set design place this squarely at about circa 1982 and this sets the mind spinning. Where are these people now? Is Arthur the weatherman hanging out on a Port-au-Prince beach trolling with a metal detector and offering samples of only the finest ganja to tourists? Has the woman clawed her way to the top of the Haitian news corporate ladder, sitting in a cushy office, and doing one on-air editorial comment a month? Is the guy who was on the couch next to her now a shoe salesman at the Port-au-Prince Foot Locker? So many possibilities, so much drama, all in a brief ten seconds.

Truly, this is why God created YouTube.

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: Jean-Luc Picard Duckroll

Last night I approved a comment on yesterday's Russell Crowe post which turned out to be a piece of spam -- and my first experience with Rickrolling. My ignorance of this phenomenon led Anonymous A to take some time out of her schedule to help get me up to speed on some of the Internet trends that are hip with the kids these days, including the grandpappy of Rickrolling, Duckrolling. In the process, she stumbled upon the above video, which isn't much in the video department (you've already seen every frame of it) but the song that accompanies the visual is so absurd that I can't get it out of my head. Enjoy.

Truly, this is why God created YouTube.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008


#32: Russell Crowe

What is it about Russell Crowe that makes me want to take pot shots at squirrels with a nail gun? Is it his telephone-throwing ability? Is it his pretensions of being accepted as a legitimate musician even though he obviously graduated from the Ricky Gervais school of overblown music video acting? Or is it the fact that something about him has always reminded me of Jacko, the Energizer mook?

No matter what it is, it's prevented me from ever watching Gladiator or American Gangster. And don't even get me started on Master & Command: The Far Side of the World, not to mention the fact that I'd rather spend an afternoon tearing my own fingernails out than sit through all of A Beautiful Mind.

Is that so wrong? Is it?!?

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Sunday, March 23, 2008

WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: We Are The World (Japanese Version)

Never mind the accents, or the disturbing Japanese blackface. What really needs to be discussed here is the fact that they substituted their Bruce Springsteen impersonator for Huey Lewis's part. Unconscionable!! [courtesy of Si-cut.db]

Truly, this is why God created YouTube.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: Dan Aykroyd Unplugged On UFOs

This past weekend I was browsing the DVD section at a bookstore and stumbled upon something that left my head spinning: Dan Aykroyd Unplugged On UFOs, a 2005 documentary/interview with the Canadian comedian (and friend of The Belush). The DVD packaging purported to offer definitive proof that UFOs exist, and that Dan Aykroyd is allegedly an expert on them.

To say I was intrigued would be an understatement. I mean, how easy would it be for this to be an elaborate joke? For a guy who built his career by portraying sleazy scheisters to, seemingly out of nowhere, become a respected authority on UFOlogy sounds like the perfect setup for a low-budget slice of comedy gold. But it's not a joke, as this CNN interview with Aykroyd proves.

The first thing I did when I got home was to ad the DVD to my Netflix queue, but then as per usual Anonymous A had the brilliant idea that I might be able to save myself a rental by checking YouTube. And, lo and behold, there it was in its complete glory. Embedding, of course, has been disabled by request, so you'll have to visit the links below to watch it (or click on the screenshot above for part one). What an amazing piece of work. How did I miss this for almost three years? There's more entertainment packed into this documentary than there was in Spies Like Us and Neighbors combined!

Dan Aykroyd Unplugged On UFOs on YouTube:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

ADVENTURES IN THE DESIGN WORLD™: The Big Bobber Floating Cooler

Sure, I've talked about oversized products before here on (which were also, coincidentally, spotted online by Anonymous A just like this one), but they didn't have as much going for them as the whole package surrounding The Big Bobber Floating Cooler. First off, we've got the website which, as seen above, sports some dandy dual-animated logos, a table border of like 20 pixels, some ALL CAPS UNNECESSARY SELF-EXPLANATION AS TO WHAT THIS THING IS THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW, an animated U.S. map, and -- to top it all off -- there's this:

We've got the words "Just 'Click'", which aren't a link, telling you to click on a picture below it! Wouldn't Jacob Nielsen be proud?

But the real beauty of lies within its eponymous product. Just look at this baby in action:

Seriously, it really does float! Like a real bobber! So you can open it while you're fishing or swimming and get seaweed in it!

Plus you can use it to store Pepsi...or fruit:

Just make sure you don't put both Pepsi AND fruit into the same Big Bobber. I think there might be a matter/anti-matter explosion if you do.

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: The Ten Biggest Cocks In Advertising

This weekend I discovered my new personal hero: Charlie Brooker, a BBC TV presenter who hosts a show called Screenwipe, which analyzes television. If you enjoy sarcasm, profanity and media studies, then this is the show for you. And if the above video rant against the Ten Biggest Cocks in Advertising doesn't win you over, then try out his rants about MTV's Sweet Sixteen, or computer games, or American television, or 24, or High School - The Musical, or UK TV exported to the US, or Doctor Who, or my personal favorite punching bag, Torchwood. And if all of that isn't enough for you, then the half-hour long Guide To Television should pretty much do you in. I can easily see how somebody might find him an utterly annoying bag of shit (as he might even describe himself), but to me Charlie Brooker has become THE shit.

Truly, this is why God created YouTube.

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Friday, March 07, 2008


What do you get when you cross There Will Be Blood with the campus nickelbag dealer? You get There Will be Bud, a spot-on parody featuring an impressive Daniel Day Lewis impersonation, some clever cinematography, and one of the best uses of video game bowling I've ever seen.

Truly, this is why God created YouTube.

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Thursday, March 06, 2008


ZOMG you so totally have to go here right now and check out this amazing commercial for The Magic of Bill Blagg III. Like the man says, your view of reality will be changed. I know it changed for me even just after watching the commercial, I can't even imagine how rocked my world would be after seeing the show in person (anybody wanna go? Oh, and thanks for the tip, Dartanjal.)

Truly, this is why God created streaming Flash video.

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: Pizza Hut Refillable Jug

Care for some Pepsi with your diabetes? This jug is pretty much one step removed from just sucking on the Pepsi dispenser and pumping gallons of it directly into your stomach. I wonder why this promotion didn't last after 1983?

Truly, this is why God created YouTube.

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