FOUND OBJECT SHOWCASE®

"FIRE HO"
Manipulated Signage
Provenance: San Francisco International Airport

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FOUND OBJECT SHOWCASE™

Rolling Rock® branded guitar
Musical Instrument
Provenance: Lincoln Square, Chicago, IL, USA

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THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE™

#29 - Gary Busey


One of my high school English teachers once said "Never confuse the artist with his neuroses." And while that may be true of the work of Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald or William Faulkner, I just don't see how or why it should apply to a certifiable nutjob like Gary Busey. Man, that dude creeps me out. Just one look at a picture of those amazingly disturbing teeth and I feel like waiting for one of the neighborhood ice cream carts to come trundling down the sidewalk in front of my apartment so I can kick my air conditioner out the living room window at just the right moment for it to crash into a cartload of bomb pops.

Is that so wrong?

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ADVENTURES IN THE DESIGN WORLD™: SugarBushSquirrel.com

Easily one of the top five most disturbing things I will see this year (right up there with Shia LaBeouf's "nutsmack" scene in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and John McCain's "lime jell-o" speech), the Pelzmantel-spotted website SugarBushSquirrel.com has given me the heebie-jeebies several times throughout the last 24 hours ever since my first exposure to it.

It's just so chock-full of disturbance...the equation of dress-up squirrel with rabid patriotism; the obsessive over-abundance of links; and, most importantly, the thought that somewhere, someone is spending way too much time creating outfits for, and then putting them on, a domesticated squirrel. It's not like I don't have a painful enough personal history with squirrels as it is. Sheesh.

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ENTERTAINMENT DROPPINGS: Holy Poop, Prince Turned 50 Today

In some ways, it feels like only yesterday that I was pumping quarters into the newfangled "video jukebox" inside a video arcade at the then-named Marriott's Great America so that I and my other fellow eighth graders could watch the brand-new video for 1999 over and over again. Now I find out that Prince is fifty years old today. Happy birthday, li'l guy. Please don't have your lawyer contact me to take down my YouTube link, it would really spoil the mood.

• Prince Turns 50: Highs and Lows [BBC News]

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WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: Beamz Promotional Video

Dartanjal stays on top of things by providing us with an update on the Beamz Music Performance System he headsed-up to us a little while ago. According to this blog post, Beamz is now being sold on their own website rather than through Sharper Image, so if you want to act like the doofae in the above video, you'd better head over there to get one. Now YOU TOO can PLAY THE LIGHT® with more cowbell! If you're a caucasian male, you'll definitely want to pick up one of these puppies. Hell, even asian chicks can sound halfway decent on it too! Jesus H. Christ on a crutch.

The blog also provides a link to a parody video, but really, do you need a parody of this? It pretty much already is parody.

Truly, this is why God created YouTube.

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