Tuesday, March 25, 2008

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#32: Russell Crowe


What is it about Russell Crowe that makes me want to take pot shots at squirrels with a nail gun? Is it his telephone-throwing ability? Is it his pretensions of being accepted as a legitimate musician even though he obviously graduated from the Ricky Gervais school of overblown music video acting? Or is it the fact that something about him has always reminded me of Jacko, the Energizer mook?

No matter what it is, it's prevented me from ever watching Gladiator or American Gangster. And don't even get me started on Master & Command: The Far Side of the World, not to mention the fact that I'd rather spend an afternoon tearing my own fingernails out than sit through all of A Beautiful Mind.

Is that so wrong? Is it?!?

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