Friday, December 01, 2006

JOHNEATS CONTEST™: And The Winner Is...

The votes are in. By an overwhelming majority of both Psychictoad and myself, I am happy to announce that the winner of the Win A T-Shirt You Probably Won't Feel Comfortable Wearing In Public Contest is . . .


Yes, as fate would have it, the woman who sent in no less than TWO ENTRIES has proven herself worthy of receiving her very own John On John Women's Cap Sleeve T-Shirt. Hopefully we can convince her to let us post a photo of her modelling her new pride and joy once it arrives just to prove to you all that we really were serious about this whole thing.

Congratulations, Eels. Sorry Michael Knight, maybe next time.

And now for the rest of you. Can I just say how disappointed I am in you all that you couldn't be bothered to take a few hours out of your oh-so-busy month to slap together something? I mean really, would it have killed you?!? Geez Louise.


Anonymous eels said...

I'd like to thank the Academy, as well as my lifelong obsessions with music videos and non-normative gender expressions.


*tears of joy*

...but if you want to post a photo of me, you guys have to be in it with me, all right?

10:38 AM  
Anonymous "A" said...

Congrats, Eels!

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Michael "Go Fuck Yourself" Knight said...

Fuck that shit!

I demand a recount!

10:49 AM  
Blogger John Eats said...

Won't that be a little redundant, having us in the picture with you when our faces are already on the t-shirt?

Also, if I remember my jokes correctly, it takes at least two Johns to take a photo: one to press the button on the camera and one to quietly hate himself.

10:52 AM  
Blogger Psychictoad said...

Ooo, ooo, can I be the one who hates himself this time, Chief? You always get to be that John.

11:04 AM  
Blogger Crispinus said...

I would have entered, but I would have just won.

11:08 AM  
Blogger John Eats said...

I'm not sure that'll work tho, since I'd be both pressing the button on the camera AND quietly hating myself anyway. But we can give it a try.

11:09 AM  
Anonymous "A" said...

With a self-timer you get 10 seconds to hate yourself.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous eels said...

Hey you guys, don't you think Michael Knight should get some kind of prize just for having put in an effort when no one else even TRIED? I mean how hard would it be to give him a button or a pen or something?

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Michael "jus' kiddin'" Knight said...

Thanks for the pity Eels...

I don't think I need to tell you where you can pin that button or stick that pen!

1:15 PM  
Blogger John Eats said...

Much like real life, at there is no prize for being second best.

It's time we all enrolled in the School of Hard Knocks.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous "A" said...

What if Eels can't complete her JohnEats Contest Winner™ duties? Who will step in to take on the responsibility of attending all the store ribbon cuttings and community parades you have lined up for her?

5:00 PM  

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