Friday, August 03, 2007

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#59: Matthew McConaughey

Yeah, I just did one of these yesterday, but I just can't resist this one. And I'm sure I'm gonna get more hate mail on this one (I'm looking at YOU SummerSparrow and Hittie). But ZOMG looking at a picture of LiveStrong's boytoy Matthew McConaughey really makes me want to spread shards of broken glass on top of public benches at a playground. And if you don't agree, then check this little sucker out, courtesy of today's People.com homepage:

SONUVABITCH!! SOMEBODY STOP ME BEFORE I START SMASHING ANTIQUE TEA COZIES WITH A BALL PEIN HAMMER!!!

Please dear lord tell me this is not just me.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Hittie said...

...So I'm Googling around, and what do I find? Why, it's a reference to me again on the John Eats board! I'm so flattered! (Not!) Why, pray tell, would I want to post on here automatically just because I posted on the Brendan Fraser board?? I don't even like this guy, Matthew McConaughey. He doesn't hold a candle to Mr. Fraser, IMHO. So you won't find me arguing with you about MM on here. (What a relief, eh? But hey, at least someone finally posted on here... ;)

3:20 AM  
Blogger John Eats said...

"Googling around"? "Googling around"?!? You're not fooling anyone, you know. Stop making it sound like you just so happened to randomly end up here rather than Googling "brendan fraser" fresh almost every day for the past month+ like you have been. Get over it. I haven't replied to your last comment there, and I'm not going to reply to your last comment there. They are called "comments" btw, not "boards". What is this, 1998?

If it means that much to you, just add me to your Favorites and be done with it, to save yourself some keystrokes. Or save yourself the trouble entirely and stop visiting here, because A) I'm not going to respond to you about your BFF [Brendan F*cking Fraser] anymore, and B) I'm not going to approve any more of your idiotic comments.

Go take your ball and play somewhere else, you obsessive freak.

7:34 AM  

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