Friday, July 06, 2007

FIRST CHURCH OF LATTER-DAY PHIL COLLINS ADVENTISTS™: "Phil The Shill"

I will be straight with you, my brethren: worship of The One True Phil can sometimes require patience of a vast magnitude. But with The Phil, as with all things on His Earth, your patience will be rewarded. For example: I as your spiritual leader -- your conduit to The One True Phil -- have been searching YouTube for literally months (well, once last fall, and once last night) in hopes that one of The Phil's Flock would post this, His appearance as "Phil Mayhew," a cocaine-dealing con artist/game show host in a 1985 episode of Miami Vice. Well my patience is your reward, my flock, as I may now present to you this episode in its entirety, recently posted for our collective worship.

Part 1 [above] shows The Phil doing what he does best: hosting a game show with Emo Phillips as a contestant, and even performing the show-within-a-show's theme tune! I haven't bothered to sit through Part 2 because The Phil was not in the scene it starts at. However, Part 3 rewards the faithful with a swimsuit-wearing The Phil planning a party at his Miami mansion and putting the moves on co-star Kyra Sedgwick. Then I lost interest and went on to Part 4 which sees The Phil wearing a black suit, getting The Collins Mullet® whipped into a frenzy on a windy beach, and even getting roughed up (including a bloody lip!) by another drug dealer. And it's during the climactic Part 5 wherein The One True Phil makes his getaway during a shootout at a Miami carnival grounds. This is some primo sh*t, my brethren, and it is to be treasured until the YouTube Copyright Gods make it disappear.

BEHOLD THE MAJESTY OF THE ONE TRUE PHIL'S GREATNESS.

BEHOLD THE COLLINS MULLET®.

BEHOLD THE COLLINS-WORSHIPPER'S MAUSOLEUM OF ALL HOPE AND DESIRE.

BEHOLD..."PHIL THE SHILL."

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