Sunday, June 17, 2007

THE BALD GUYZ® SAGA

You know, I was perfectly happy to let go of the whole Bald Guyz® thing after my original post failed to take the blogzosphere by storm. But a funny thing happened on the way to Internet obscurity. Those of you who just use your little Googletronic RSS feedbags to read this site and don't actually peruse the comments have missed what is now a quite entertaining ongoing saga, so here's a post about it to give you a headz-up.

It all started when someone claiming to be the owner of the Bald Guyz® company (and let's face it, it's gotta be the real deal -- would someone actually pretend to be the owner of a company named "Bald Guyz®"?) got a little touchy about the fact that I posted something about one of his products that wasn't 100% glowingly positive. As you can see if you check out the comments on the original post, I responded with some typically asinine "flamewar" banter. Then that was the end of it, since Head Bald Guy must have figured it was better to cut his losses and leave me alone instead of risk generating any more negative online talk about his productz. A smart move considering only about three and a half people actually read this blog anyway.

But now this weekend, the battle is rejoined -- however, this time it's one of the "real live bald guyz" whose faces grace the cover of Bald Guyz® Refreshing Head Wipez™...well, I can't be sure, because he posted his comment as "Anonymous", but my site stats show that "someone" Googled himself around midnight Saturday night and spent about half an hour coming up with this depressing salvo in a pathetic, rapidly escalating war of words:

Anonymous [Shawn Wilson, Reseacher] said...

John,

Were you high when you wrote this post? Why did you get so worked up on a product for bald men? Is it because the "Head Bald Guy" didn't select you as the real bald guy for the Head Wipes? If you go to the Bald Guyz Web site you can send in your pic for a chance to be on the cover just like anyone else. Its pretty lame of you to single out "Shawn Wilson the Researcher" just because he's ten times better looking than you. A more suitable target of your anger would be your parents for procreating a few decades ago.


You'll have to check out the comments on the original post for my reply.

If anything else of note happens, I'll keep you posted in another installment of THE BALD GUYZ® SAGA.

5 Comments:

Blogger The Elusive Loo said...

I thought he might be the Bald Guyz® researcher. Hence he's upset you're not a fan of his product. Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't they just babywipes for bald men?

11:17 AM  
Blogger John Eats said...

Exactly. They're a completely insignificant product, and it was a throwaway post in the first place. If both of them had just never said anything it would have just faded into obscurity. But now every time somebody Googles "Shawn Wilson" +"researcher" they're gonna find this ridiculous rant that's obviously written by him. Sorry dude.

11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Baby wipes for the head? NOT. Baby wipes leave a moisture barrier to protect the baby's bottom. Would you want a residue on your head, face? ? I don't think so. Maybe the 40 million bald heads need a specific product for them? Before you spew your stupid comments perhaps you should do some diligence and find out what you are talking about....oh I know, since you can't eat it, why bother spending time on it.

8:10 AM  
Blogger John Eats said...

Dear "Anonymous" (or should I say Bald Head Guy Again?)

WTF are you talking about?? Have you ever seen me write about food on this blog at all? Why won't all you Bald Guyz® just leave this alone? Why do you insist on posting more comments that just end up making you look like defensive, overly-sensitive bald men who feel their masculinity is threatened by the fact that their follicles can't cut it the way they used to? And before you try to tell me I'm insensitive because I have a full head of hair, I DON'T! I'm bald too! I just don't feel the need to Google head care products and post inane comments wherever someone doesn't bow down to the holy power of BALD GUYZ®.

And fine, they're not baby wipes then. They're probably just gigantic Stridex® pads, you little crybaby.

christ jesus, let it GO already!

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Someone who understands said...

Seriously, guy. The whole point of this blog is that JohnEats makes fun of things. Including himself. There's nothing you can say that will get to him or make him change his mind about your product, because HE DOES NOT CARE. The fact that you do is hilarious to him. Your indignation will only ever fan the flames and keep adding to the ridiculousness.

Just let it go and stop embarassing yourself.

11:12 AM  

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