Friday, May 11, 2007

FIERCEFILEā„¢: The Many Moods Of Dionne

Shady recently told me she thought ANTM had jumped the shark this cycle, and I vehemently defended the show since I thought it was a vast improvement on cycle 7's blandness. After this week's episode though, I'm one step closer to admitting the thrill is gone. They kept Natahsa instead of Dionne?? WTF ARE THEY THINKING?!? It can't simply be that Natasha makes for wackier television, is it? I mean, IS IT?


It can't have anything to do with the fact that Natasha does kerrr-razy things like have flat-on-her-stomach phone sex with her "husband" while in the same room as the other models...


...and it can't have anything to do with the fact that everything that comes out of her mouth sounds like a mashup of Borat, Yakoff Smirnoff and Natasha from Bullwinkle. Can it?!?


And then of course we have the issue of The Many Moods of Dionne, which the judges keep telling us consists only of scowling. Can you blame her for being a bit cheesed off that the judges harp on her about the same thing over and over again? It's like they decided this was going to be her problem, so they kept telling her about it so she kept doing it because she was thinking about it. I mean, hello she's a MODEL. She's gonna do anything you tell her to do! It's the same crap they pulled with Jaeda last cycle...why is Tyra obsessed with perpetuating the "angry black woman" myth?


And then we had Schizo Ty-Ty freak out at panel when she asked everyone (except Natasha) who should go home, and everyone said Natasha. For real, she just asked them all to pick someone to diss, they did, and she got annoyed about it! WTF?? The judges are so pro-Natasha that you gotta wonder if she's been having flat-on-her-stomach phone sex with all of them as well.

I honestly don't want any of the remaining models to win, because they all suck rocks. If Renee wins I'll probably kick my TV screen. If Natasha wins, I'll probably stab myself in the thigh with a butter knife. I guess I could tolerate a Cha Cha win, but let's face it, at this point she's not gonna win anybody over with her lack of spokesmodel skills so what's the point of even getting my hopes up?

Maybe Shady was right after all.

2 Comments:

Anonymous "A" said...

The whole episode was painful. I think Renee has it sealed up, and the rest is just for tv entertainment.

I also think that Jay Manuel tells all the judges how to vote. What was up with him being all super encouraging with Natasha, but blasting Dionne? He gets too much air time. I'm tired of looking at his frosty hair.

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Deevan said...

Naw, it's Cha-Cha for the win: first Latina Top Model and the only model "of color" left.

Not to defend the judges' decision, b/c **they crazy** but Dionne was gonna win nuthin'. She's as good tv as Natasha, and she's def-prettier. But I ain't sheddin' any tears for Brown, we already seen everything you can see from her.
I do think they ain't gonna go All-American blonde two ANTM's in a row. Natasha's probably out next, unless Renee has some sort of meltdown due to her manipulations failing. But against either of 'em, Jaslene'll kill 'em on the runway.

3:29 PM  

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