FIRST CHURCH OF LATTER-DAY PHIL COLLINS ADVENTISTS™: Beware Imposter Phils!

Caveat emptor! We here at the First Church of Latter-Day Phil Collins Adventists™ would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight about some people you may have encountered who are claiming to be the One True Phil Collins. Do not believe these people. They are false Phils and are not to be trusted!


First off, there's this guy. He thinks that by pretending to be some kind of "artist" that he can claim rights to being the One True Phil. Well don't believe him, my friends, because he's just a bunch of BUNK! The only "art" we need from somebody named Phil Collins comes wrapped in a jewel case and gets played on Casey Kasem's American Top Twenty! So BEWARE!


And don't even get me started on this guy! Look, everybody knows the One True Phil doesn't care what his wives wear to the altar, it's how well they can understand what he faxes them. So shove off, False Phil! We don't need your kind here!

This has been a public service message of the First Church of Latter-Day Phil Collins Adventists. Thank you for your time and attention.