JOHN EATS CONTEST™: Last Two Weeks To Win A T-Shirt You Probably Won't Feel Comfortable Wearing In Public

Listen up, people: you only have two weeks left to enter our Win A T-Shirt You Probably Won't Feel Comfortable Wearing In Public contest, so get busy! If you need a refresher, make sure you review the official rules before sending your entries to johneats[a]gmail.com.

When that t-shirt shows up in the mail and you're rubbing that cotton/poly blend between your grubby little fingers, you'll look back on the tears and the sweat you went through to write a couple of crappy sentence fragments and find a cheesy YouTube video, and you'll say to yourself "My god, what have I done?"