Thursday, August 21, 2008

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#27: Anthony Kiedis


Three words:

Under.
The.
Bridge.

Jeeziseffinkriste I hate this song, especially the vocals. I had no beef with the Chili Peppers until 1992. Now I can't stand them, and it's all this song's fault. I can't even watch more than 10 seconds of any of the above videos without having to fight the urge to walk into a Taco Bell, grab every burrito I can find, throw them to the ground, and stomp on them so all the gunk inside of them sprays all over the shoes of everyone in there.

Just sayin'.

3 Comments:

Blogger K. A. Laity said...

*Why* do you hate Under the Bridge? 'splain!

6:53 PM  
Blogger John Eats said...

Usually I don't like to reveal the magic behind my fits of irrational hatred. But if you must know, here goes...

From a musical perspective, I find it turgid, melodramatic and flat-out boring compared to pre-UTB Chili Peppers -- it's like one day Anthony Kiedis woke up and decided to make his band be like U2 if they were ex-drug-addict skate punks from L.A.

The lyrics sound like rejects from a 4-H Club poetry slam, and Anthony Kiedis' delivery of them grates on me like nails on a goddamn chalkboard, all blubby-whiteboy-pseudofunk-with-a-heart crap. The video is what a twelve year-old boy's desperate attempt to be "artistic" would look like if he were given a Hollywood budget. That slo-mo shot of Anthony Kiedis running shirtless looks like an outtake from the Ben Stiller Show -- it practically parodies itself!

The whole thing screams "Take me SERIOUSLY!!!!" so much that I'd rather plunge a couple of barbecue skewers down my own ear canals than be subjected to listening to the whole thing ever again.

3:26 PM  
Blogger K. A. Laity said...

LOL -- just wanted to know. I hate the video, but I like the song as it's one of those that reminds me wistfully (and um, ironically, I suppose) of the good times in L.A. I should hasten to add that none of the events in the song have anything to do with my good memories... really...

12:06 PM  

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