Friday, May 02, 2008

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#31: Ryan Gosling


Okay, enough of that whole "liking" thing, back to things that make me grind my teeth in my sleep without me even knowing it. And honestly, I've never walked around thinking "You know who irritates the fuck out of me? Ryan Fucking Gosling!"...I mean, I barely even know who he is or any movies or TV shows he's been in, but every time I look at a picture of him I just feel like I've been sprayed with asshole germs. I'm sure somebody's gonna tell me "Obviously you've never seen Half Nelson and you know nothing of the power of cinema" and I'd say right back to them "You know, I don't give a shit, all I know is that looking at this guy makes me feel like spreading a bunch of thumbtacks out on top of a bench in front of a nursing home." Jesus.

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