Friday, November 09, 2007

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#45: Dane Cook

Maybe I'll get complaints that this guy isn't higher up on the list...I know there has been some controversy over my ranking sometimes. Because I know for sure that there are many others out there who, like me, feel like playing frisbee golf inside a china shop when they so much as look at a picture of Dane Cook. I don't give a damn how many MySpace friends he has, it's still a known fact that his existence is an abomination to the entertainment industry. I mean, not even putting Jessica Alba in Two Buck Chuck or whatever the hell it was called made it any more enjoyable for the American viewing public.

And if I ever were to see him make his annoying little hand gesture in person, I swear to god I'd find the nearest mail box, bust it open with a crowbar, and systematically tear every single envelope inside of it in half!!

Holla.

2 Comments:

Blogger K. A. Laity said...

Well, this may not be fair (coming as it does from someone who was nearly driven to clubbing elderly people this week) but I would suggest the violence should be visited upon said person (and I use that term broadly) himself rather than innocent nearby objects. There is no excuse for the continued existence of this "comedian" who makes a mockery of the very idea of funny (is it wrong to expect a comedian to be funny?). At the very least that smug look should be permanently wiped off his kisser.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Gene K. said...

Why is he wearing a web-shooter?

11:12 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home