Wednesday, October 24, 2007

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#47: John Mayer

While those supple lips (which always seem to have a bit of spittle left on them), pouty eyeballs and mop of flowing man-mane might make some people swoon, just looking at a picture of John Mayer makes me want to walk around my neighborhood with a portable generator and an electric nail gun and see just how much damage I can do to people's tires. And as if just looking at a picture of him wasn't enough to get me into full-on shooting-a-B.B. gun-at-somebody's-brand-new-chandelier mode, he also has to write one of the most annoying celebrity blogs I've ever seen. And before anybody starts to get any bright ideas that he has this effect on me because I'm jealous that he's "cute" or something, take a look at what dude looks like when there's no ring light or Photoshop around. Ickers!

Surely I can not be the only one who feels this way.

2 Comments:

Anonymous thee Cheese Kurd said...

hmmm.... thought he would be higher on the list, but after that whole maggie gyllenhaal thing who knows anymore...

12:28 PM  
Blogger Gene K. said...

JohnEats, your Wiki-like knowledge of all things popular makes me feel so, so old.

5:55 PM  

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