Wednesday, August 22, 2007

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#56: Julia Roberts

So what is it about Julia Roberts that makes me want to scrape my bare knuckles against a brick wall every time I so much as look at a picture of her? I'll tell you what: it's THE MOUTH. Man, that thing is scary. It makes me want to beat up a wino with a two-by-four with a nail sticking out of it. When Hollywood eventually gets around to doing the live-action remake of Ms. Pac-Man ("To escape the ghosts of her past...To find true love...To survive...SHE MUST FEED."), it will not be greenlit until Julia can be convinced to get onboard, since it'll save their budget millions on CGI work.

Seriously, am I the only one who looks at a picture of Julia Roberts and then experiences an almost uncontrollable urge to knock over a statue of Abraham Lincoln?

Well, AM I?

Oh wait, I probably am.

2 Comments:

Blogger K. A. Laity said...

I can get behind this one!

I

HATE

JULIA

ROBERTS

and her gigantic mouth and her dumb look and her huge paychecks and the way people swoon over her horse face, her very large feet and her tiny moustache. Inexplicable.

It does not so much make me want to push over statues of Lincoln as to shred overly fussy flower arrangements in a wood chipper -- along with pictures of Julia Robert.

11:10 AM  
Blogger The Queen said...

Responding a little late on this one, but I do have hateful feeling toward the Large-Mouthed Roberts.

Also, Sarah Jessica Parker.

At what point in history have equine features been considered desirable? OR indicative of any acting talent?

6:59 PM  

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