Wednesday, August 08, 2007

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE™

#58: Billy Corgan

With Smashing Pumpkins un-surprisingly dragging their sorry faux-gothic "We're-OH-SO-Tortured™ So Buy Our New Album At Target®" asses back out on the road together, now seems like as good a time as any to admit that the sight of their inauspicious leader makes me want to plunge steel knitting needles into the ears of squirrels. I mean just look at the guy. Can I be the only one on God's Green Earth who looks at a picture of Billy Corgan and thinks it's finally time to pick up a brick and fling it at the pastry and salad case of the closest Starbucks? Or that the sight of this makes me want to drive a Winnebago through the barricades at a street festival and head straight for the well-populated beer garden?

It can't just be me, can it?!?

1 Comments:

Blogger :> said...

Hold on... did he actually manage to finally grow a neck recently? Will the wonders of science never cease!?

7:55 AM  

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