THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE™
#62: Taylor Hicks
I have to admit, I know very little about Taylor Hicks. I don't watch American Idol other than when Shady tells me to watch specific horrifying moments on YouTube, so I actually haven't heard him sing -- oh wait, I take that back: I've seen his Ford commercial, which actually does prove just how talented he is at pointing at a camera. So it's not his alleged golden throat that has anything to do with the fact that when I see a picture of him I feel like driving a Hummer through the glassed-in atrium of a retirement home, it's just that I find him visually annoying. He gives me the heebie-jeebies, like when you're on the train and the sweaty guy sitting across from you who looks vaguely like the Unabomber makes eye contact with you. Don't you agree?
Well, don't you?!?
I have to admit, I know very little about Taylor Hicks. I don't watch American Idol other than when Shady tells me to watch specific horrifying moments on YouTube, so I actually haven't heard him sing -- oh wait, I take that back: I've seen his Ford commercial, which actually does prove just how talented he is at pointing at a camera. So it's not his alleged golden throat that has anything to do with the fact that when I see a picture of him I feel like driving a Hummer through the glassed-in atrium of a retirement home, it's just that I find him visually annoying. He gives me the heebie-jeebies, like when you're on the train and the sweaty guy sitting across from you who looks vaguely like the Unabomber makes eye contact with you. Don't you agree? Well, don't you?!?
posted by John Eats at 6:03 AM
1 Comments:
I always thought he looked a bit like George Clooney's slightly yhounger and slightly retarded brother.
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