THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE™
#63: Fergie (Not The One In The Royal Family)
To paraphrase her godawful London Bridge single, how come every time a picture of Fergie come around, my clenched, clenched fist wanna go down? Seriously, I just do not get it. Maybe it's the whole Candie's ad campaign thing. Maybe it's how she drags out her crystal meth addiction every time she wants to sell a frickin' record. Or maybe I just prefer my so-called "divas" to come equipped with full bladder control.
Maybe I'll never figure out exactly why I feel like taking a broken beer bottle to somebody's chin every time I see a picture of her. But I just do.
IS THAT SO WRONG??
To paraphrase her godawful London Bridge single, how come every time a picture of Fergie come around, my clenched, clenched fist wanna go down? Seriously, I just do not get it. Maybe it's the whole Candie's ad campaign thing. Maybe it's how she drags out her crystal meth addiction every time she wants to sell a frickin' record. Or maybe I just prefer my so-called "divas" to come equipped with full bladder control. Maybe I'll never figure out exactly why I feel like taking a broken beer bottle to somebody's chin every time I see a picture of her. But I just do.
IS THAT SO WRONG??
posted by John Eats at 5:38 AM
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