THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE™
#65: Billy Bush
Don't get me wrong: I love entertainment newsmagazine shows. There have been times when I've had to be physically restrained in order to curb my five-times-a-week Entertainment Tonight habit, even during the John Tesh years. I will eagerly stare at the shiny pate of Pat O'Brien for hours just so I can find out what's coming up next on The Insider. I will sometimes even lower my standards so far that I'll let my eardrums be exposed to Nancy O'Dell's Voice of Doom just so I can get the latest dirt from Access Hollywood. But leave it to a member of the Bush family cadre to get me to instantly change the channel (and kick a small animal) during a story about an American Idol contestant or even right before the world premiere of a new trailer for whatever bullshit superhero movie is premiering in a week. Yes, I'm speaking about none other than the always-insipid Billy Bush, Hollywood kiss-ass extraordinaire. Just a flash of those teeth and I'm ready to smack an ice cream truck driver with a tire iron. Hell, even number-one-on-my-list Jeremy Piven thinks he's annoying. But please, don't take my word for it...since no still picture can properly capture the true dickishness that is The Billy, have a look-see at these three clips picked at random from the Access Hollywood YouTube archives and tell me you do not feel compelled to smash a small child's favorite toy with an aluminum baseball bat the way I do. Come on, I dare you.
Oh wait. Is it just me again?
Damn.
Don't get me wrong: I love entertainment newsmagazine shows. There have been times when I've had to be physically restrained in order to curb my five-times-a-week Entertainment Tonight habit, even during the John Tesh years. I will eagerly stare at the shiny pate of Pat O'Brien for hours just so I can find out what's coming up next on The Insider. I will sometimes even lower my standards so far that I'll let my eardrums be exposed to Nancy O'Dell's Voice of Doom just so I can get the latest dirt from Access Hollywood. But leave it to a member of the Bush family cadre to get me to instantly change the channel (and kick a small animal) during a story about an American Idol contestant or even right before the world premiere of a new trailer for whatever bullshit superhero movie is premiering in a week. Yes, I'm speaking about none other than the always-insipid Billy Bush, Hollywood kiss-ass extraordinaire. Just a flash of those teeth and I'm ready to smack an ice cream truck driver with a tire iron. Hell, even number-one-on-my-list Jeremy Piven thinks he's annoying. But please, don't take my word for it...since no still picture can properly capture the true dickishness that is The Billy, have a look-see at these three clips picked at random from the Access Hollywood YouTube archives and tell me you do not feel compelled to smash a small child's favorite toy with an aluminum baseball bat the way I do. Come on, I dare you.Oh wait. Is it just me again?
Damn.
posted by John Eats at 6:19 AM
1 Comments:
I put it to you that Billy Bush is neither a celebrity nor can he possibly be at the top of any kind of list. That's how non-existent he is. I don't see him -- do you?
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