Sunday, June 24, 2007


Starbucks® SNAFU
A one-act play transcribed by JohnEats

INTERIOR: A Starbucks® micro-café inside a suburban Target® store. It is near lunchtime. Behind the counter, two SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FEMALE BARISTAS do their best to fill drink orders. To one side of the counter, a MOTHER, ABOUT FORTYISH walks over to join her three CHILDREN, RANGING IN AGE FROM AT LEAST FIVE TO NO MORE THAN ELEVEN once she picks up her drink order. ANONYMOUS A has placed an order; JOHN EATS keeps to the sidelines.

Suddenly there is a slight commotion amongst the MOTHER and her CHILDREN. The MOTHER moves back up toward the counter, cutting in front of ANONYMOUS A.

MOTHER, ABOUT FORTYISH: Is this a vanilla latte? It tastes like there's vanilla in here.

SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FEMALE BARISTA 1: Yes, it's a vanilla latte.

MOTHER, ABOUT FORTYISH: See, I don't even like vanilla. I didn't order a vanilla latte.

The CHILDREN walk up to surround their MOTHER and get a better view of the action.


SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FEMALE BARISTA 1: You said Grande Vanilla Latte--

MOTHER, ABOUT FORTYISH: I did not say Grande Vanilla Latte, I said Grande Latte! Plus this took forever for you to make!

SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FEMALE BARISTA 2: But, ma'am, the machine is broken!

SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FEMALE BARISTA 1: We can make you another one, it's no problem.

MOTHER, ABOUT FORTYISH: No, I don't want another one. I'm in a hurry! That's it. You know what? (slams drink down on counter) I want my money back. And I want to speak to a manager.

SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FEMALE BARISTA 2 hands ANONYMOUS A her drink order. ANONYMOUS A moves away from the counter towards JOHN EATS.

SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FEMALE BARISTA 1: Ma'am, please, the machine is broken so we had to make it by hand, that's what took so--

MOTHER, ABOUT FORTYISH: I understand, honey, that part's not your fault, but you didn't listen to me, it took forever to get me my drink and I don't have time for this. And now I want my money back and I want to speak to a manager! You got a manager back there?

ANONYMOUS A and JOHN EATS walk away.



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