THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE™
#73: David Blaine
Do I even need to explain this one? Can there be anyone alive who can watch David Blaine spend a week underwater in public and not want to flip over an ornately set banquet table? Does anyone else really not feel the urge to put a hammer through a storefront window when they consider Blaine's Messianic complex? Can there be a single human being who could look at this and not want to methodically saw the legs off of priceless antique furniture?
Well, I do.
Um, so there.
Anyway...uh...it's Friday! Woo-hoo!
Do I even need to explain this one? Can there be anyone alive who can watch David Blaine spend a week underwater in public and not want to flip over an ornately set banquet table? Does anyone else really not feel the urge to put a hammer through a storefront window when they consider Blaine's Messianic complex? Can there be a single human being who could look at this and not want to methodically saw the legs off of priceless antique furniture?
Well, I do.
Um, so there.
Anyway...uh...it's Friday! Woo-hoo!
posted by John Eats at 6:03 AM
2 Comments:
What the hell? How can you hate David Blaine?
Man, it's like totally so cool that he's in a walking coma 24/7. Man! He's so cool. I for one am just totally in awe of him. Cuz he's so fucking cool. So cool it's like he has no emotions at all. Just the walking talking coma. Out of which he magically tricks people on the street, as though he's not even trying. And thinks that he's Houdini or some shit, without realizing he's actually just infuriatingly boring. Whoops. I mean... SO FUCKING COOL.
But why wouldn't you like a best bud of Leonardo DiCaprio? ;-)
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