Tuesday, March 20, 2007

THE TOP 75 CELEBRITIES WHOSE EXISTENCE SO OFFENDS ME THAT JUST LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCEā„¢

#74: Keith Urban

I don't know much about Keith Urban, but I know he gives me the heebie-jeebies. I know he's a country singer from Australia, which makes my head hurt. I know he's married to Nicole Kidman, which kinda makes me feel sorry for him in a way -- I mean yeah, the guy's annoying, but living with her must be like living in a haunted house...like, every time she comes walking around a corner, wouldn't you kinda scream like a little baby because of how frightening she looks? I also know that he's been in rehab, which means he's a celebrity. I also know that he kinda used to look like Roy from Siegfried and Roy, which isn't necessarily scary but just a little odd. But what I don't know about Keith Urban is why, whenever I look at a picture of him, I feel like taking a baseball bat to a parked car. Sometimes life just doesn't make sense.

1 Comments:

Blogger e said...

Can we talk about how he looks like some horrific meld of David Spade and Fabio in your featured photo.

HEEBIE JEEBIES INDEED.

7:34 PM  

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