Friday, March 16, 2007

FIERCEFILEā„¢: Do You Believe In Makeover Magic?

Wowzers!! We got the makeovers, the naked photo shoot, a model illness AND a death in the family all in this one big episode! Sha-damn!!

First we had guest stylist and judge Neeko (fresh from his stint providing husky, breathy, Germanic vocals for the Velvet Underground) pop in for the makeovers, which gave Tyra another chance to show off her tremendous acting ability by having a wig on her head get touched by some garden shears. Then Miss Jay got the tables turned on him and got himself a makeover -- oh my, how could they just spring that on him like that? What a shocker!

Of course, herein lied the beginning of Jael's painful journey this week: first she had to endure eight hours of useless makeover, then her friend dies of an overdose. "I don't understand how this could happen," she said. Let me see if I can help: Well, when a person takes too many drugs, sometimes it can kill them, so make sure to cut back next time, honey.

No makeover can stop Natasha from looking brain-dead.

Perpetual frontrunner and melodrama queen Brittany got to bitch about her itch, cry like a baby, morally object to a naked photo shoot, throw up on-camera and STILL win the challenge. Go, girl! Who cares what that nasty Renee says about you anyway!

And speaking of, Renee's makeover really did nothing for her...except increase her ability to look more like Eric Roberts' sister than Julia ever did.

Cassandra finally got rid of her janky sewed-on wig, but that still didn't save her from getting the boot. And let's be honest here, her neck isn't the only thing that disappeared in this photo...I mean, is there even a person in this picture, or is it just an afro on a toothpick? Maybe think about trying to "flav up" on some Mike and Ikes, girlfriend!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home