FIERCEFILE™: Cycle 8 Belatedly Begins

Yeah, it's horribly late, but it's Top Model time again and I'll be damned if I'll give up the opportunity to force people to scroll past my review just because it's a few days overdue!

Only one episode in and I'm already more excited about Cycle 8 than I ever was about Cycle 7. It seems like the writers have settled their differences and gotten back to work, because last week's two-hour premiere was more entertaining than most of the last cycle put together. Although most of the whole ANTM Boot Camp thing made me cringe, seeing the Jays arrive while standing up in their jeep (how very David Bowie at Victoria Station in May 1976 of them!) was quite entertaining.

Most of the first hour was pure Tyra-centric hype and fluff, especially her grand steppin' entrance with the Delta Sigma boys, which was so very "Look at me! I'm all hip n shit!" altho if she really wanted to score some stret cred points, shouldn't she be showing her chicken noodle soup moves?


It was only with the second hour that we really got to concentrate on what the show's going to be like this cycle. I'm a big fan of Jael, who not only has the personality of a deer in headlights but also kinda looks like bug-eyed UK comic actor and 6 Music DJ Stephen Merchant.


The first photo shoot was classic ANTM, what with Nigel Barker taking over the lensing and the ethnically ambiguous Jay Manuel bitching and moaning that the girls just weren't getting the concepts, especially walking cartoon Kathleen, whose difficulty with the whole "anti-fur" thing was the highlight of the entire two hours.


And what the hell was with Tyra's dirty hippy look at the judging? They couldn't even find a classic Tyra modeling shot to morph into her present day look that came close to looking that bad. At least Miss J has gotten rid of his puffy sleeves from last cycle.


In the end it all comes down to the pictures (and which models make the best television) and so unfortunately Kathleen had to go...but not before the editors got in one last shot at how much of a dim bulb she is, focusing on her lack of bag-packing skills as she unceremoniously lets herself out of the Top Model house. Beautiful!

Viva la ANTM!