Thursday, March 08, 2007

FIERCEFILEā„¢: Back To School Sans Rodney Dangerfield

So we got the Runway Training episode this week, and the ANTM writers picked prom/high school as the episode's theme, which meant that Miss J got to act like he was part of Prince's Superbowl backup band before he had to get down to business and show the ladies how to walk a straight line.

As per usual, we got to see the models struggle to grasp basic choreography concepts, with Natasha and Jaslene sticking out as particularly awful at taking simple directions. Maybe the school uniforms made them so nervous they couldn't follow basic directions.

Once the training was over it was time for the prom catwalk challenge, hosted by guest judge/toad face Roy Campbell. The three themes (contemporary, the 80s, and "ghetto fabulous") sounded promising, but all we got were a couple of shoulder pads and some 'tude from the models; the clothes were all pretty much boring up until Sarah had her wardrobe malfunction.

Jaslene's confidence/incompetance ratio could become an interesting theme until she gets booted, but I'm much more interested in how extremely unlikable stay-at-home-Hawaiian-mom Renee is becoming. Her whining during the photoshoot was almost unbearable, and she's gone from overconfident bitch to insecure dumbass in no time flat. Perhaps if she chose to smoke one less pack of Camels a day she might feel a little better about herself.

Once again Natasha proved herself inadequate by not even beginning to comprehend what a "teacher's pet" is, and her dim bulb seemed destined to go out just like Kathleen's did last week. Fortunately, her stupidity makes great television, so Samantha became the week's sacrificial lamb due to her inability to act like a slut. Let's face it, when Jay Manuel has to tell a woman to put her hand on the inside of her thigh, she's toast.

Predictions: Brittany will make the top three; Jaslene will freak out after her makeover; Tyra will dress like a dirty hippie chick for every judging session.

Bring on the makeovers!


Blogger Caitlin said...

Who do you think will be the one to freak out and cry morals over the naked shoot? C'mon! There's one EVERY season.
Also, is it just me, or is Jaslene totally going to set the house on fire when she inevitably gets the boot?

10:03 AM  
Blogger John Eats said...

Well, unfortunately they got rid of Samantha, the only one so far to reveal a personal moral code that would conflict with the naked shoot, so that one's pretty hard to predict. I'll take a stab and say Diana if she's still in the game at that point, just because she's going to have to display a foible other than being plus-sized that gets her booted off.

She may not set the house on fire, but I can totally see Jaslene pulling a Furonda and stomping on everybody else's chips. Jaslene will also be this cycle's "girl who everybody thinks has an eating disorder."

10:34 AM  

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