WHY GOD CREATED YOUTUBE™: The Coffee Achievers
This is an actual "image ad" commercial from 1984 sponsored by corporate conglomerate the National Coffee Association featuring a wonderfully random series of celebrity endorsers: David Bowie, Kurt Vonnegut, Ken Anderson, Cicely Tyson, Joe Jackson and Jane Curtin, set to the music of one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasures ELO. Much like cigarette ads from the 1950s which tried to claim that smoking tobacco was actually good for your lungs, this ad makes the precious, bold claim that coffee "picks you up and calms you down" -- which might actually be true if you're addicted to caffeine and get the shakes all morning until you get your first hit of your favorite vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing.
The above-embedded version of the commercial is the one I remember, but this alternative version focusing on Cicely Tyson really drives home the calming claim: coffee apparently gives her the ability to stay calm while aggressively slapping a fellow actor across the face. Sweet, sweet coffee!
Truly, this is why God created YouTube.
posted by John Eats at 5:38 AM
3 Comments:
"Calms you down and picks you up... No other drink does that like coffee..."
except, maybe, I dunno, TEA? which actually DOESN'T give most people the shakes?
ALSO: but wait, David Bowie isn't Americ... oh but, that's the video for "Young Americans", isn't it?
CLEVER!
..except no, that's the video for "Modern Love"... I'M SO CONFUSED.
Is that what stained Bowie's teeth?
"Hold on tight to your dreams!..."
Kurt Vonnegut? Seriously? This ad is the essence of what the guy found wrong with America.
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