OVERHEARD ONE-ACT THEATRE™: University Union Lunch

University Union Lunch
A one-act play transcribed by JohnEats

INTERIOR: The dining area of a major midwestern university's student union. It is lunchtime. A small stage has been set up, and a crowd of ETHNICALLY DIVERSE STUDENTS are gathered around to listen to a presentation. To stage right stands a sandwich board sign declaring "STUDENTS FOR DIVERSITY MEET-UP".

Onstage, a BLACK MALE UNDERGRADUATE is giving a melodramatic (if slightly monotone) reading of a poem he has written. It includes rapid-fire streams of clichéd "shocking" buzzwords relating to race and sexuality. He does not use a microphone.

JOHN EATS and LEGOLAS are sitting in a booth at stage left, silently eating lunch without looking at each other, unable to think or talk while the poem is being read.

Eventually the BLACK MALE UNDERGRADUATE finishes his poem and exits the stage, to be replaced by a WHITE MALE UNDERGRADUATE FRATBOY who grabs a microphone and begins to speak inarticulately about the importance of diversity on campus, and the role played by the Greek/Fraternity community in making diversity a reality.

WHITE MALE UNDERGRADUATE FRATBOY: It's like, definitely important that we, you know, do something about getting more diversity on this campus. You know, like, I was involved in the planning committee meetings for this event, and I must say that all those meetings reminded me of an old saying: "Too many chiefs, not enough Indians."

JOHN EATS and LEGOLAS stop eating, finally look at each other.

(Curtain.)