Monday, January 22, 2007


Because I have a deeply felt love of crowds, suburban shopping and flat-pack shipping boxes, this past weekend I found myself at IKEA for the umpteenth time. And while there, Anonymous A spotted this marvelous fake television with a fake printed web page printout stuck on its fake cathode ray tube. Unfortunately the fake web page also advertises a fake URL, because when I tried to visit it I was scolded by the torso, head and arms of a disturbing virtual Swedish child for my poor spelling:

Honestly, I didn't know if this was a misspelled word or just one of those cutesy fake-Swedish names that IKEA gives their little baubles like "EFFEKTIV" or "KOMPLEMENT" or "PØØPKONSTRUKSHUN".


Blogger girlfop said...

I hate IKEA and I'll tell you why: I bought a Klippan loveseat secondhand. It is still in really good shape, but it was "natural" colored and kind of dingy, so I wanted to get a cover for it. They are all about the covers, except that you CAN'T BUY THEM ONLINE. You have to go to one of the goddamn stores and I don't even know that you can buy one there separately. I don't even know how much they cost. I do know they are all in hideous colors, but I figured if I got a white or natural one I could dye it a color I actually like, maybe? I got one through my ex-roommate's got Ebay account (I am not allowing myself to have such a thing my own self) and that cost $80 which I'm suspecting is affordable compared with the actual cost of one at the store but I DON'T KNOW. I could call and find out but that would entail my talking to a real live SALES person and feeling pressured to actually buy one if it winds up being available and then having to say "oh I'm sorry I do not have one hundred fifty dollars to spend on one of your hideous colored covers today." They really are hideous, too. The one we got off ebay is obnoxiously bright red-orange, and also it doesn't quiiiiiite fit right. I suspect whoever had it before washed it. Which you're supposed to be able to do without bad things happening.

Um. Hi. Sorry. Got a bit carried away there. So... yes. Everyone thinks IKEA is so great but actually they're really tacky and dumb and I hate them, The End.

10:52 AM  

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