FIERCEFILE™: British Invasion 2-D

So that was it -- the last ounce of Top Model blood has been squeezed out of the stone that is 2006, and it certainly ended with a whimper. Top Model: British Invasion 2 was even less engaging than last week's two-hour special; it's just too much to ask of anyone to be able to condense and entire season of a TV show into two hours and still somehow make it compelling. But the conundrum for me was that I still somehow found myself getting bored even though everything was moving at such a fast pace. Perhaps I've come down with a case of Adult ADD.

One thing that might contribute to this is something that was brought up frequently by everyone I spoke to about TM at the holiday party earlier this week: everyone agreed that none of the contestants in the British show would make the initial cut in the American show, which is somewhat shocking. I can't imagine someone like Abigail making it past week one against Tyra and Miss Jay, and here she made it all the way to the final two.

It was also a bit jarring to me that the host of the show changed between seasons. I know those wacky Brits just lerve to recast people in the same parts, but there's something to be said for consistency. The most important reason for me to watch ANTM is because Tyra is like a car accident, and without that consistency of overbearing vision it just feels like any other "unscripted drama". Not that I found last week's host to be all that engaging, mind you, but last night Lisa Snowden was pretty annoying and at least Lisa Butcher had a smidgen of gravitas about her. Maybe they thought no one would notice because they're both named Lisa?

There was definitely one nice "ooooh snap" moment, when two models were both eliminated at the same time. It was the type of brutal honesty you would never find in an American reality show; in no uncertain terms, this was a wonderful "you both equally suck" move, and the blank photo held up by the host did wonders to add insult to the injury. Bravo.

Other than that we got the usual petty bickering, wacky challenges, pixellated naughty bits "too hot for America," a car-based photoshoot that turned into a tribute to the Stone Roses, and another disappointing final runway scenario. Am I wrong or was there not an ounce of tension during that runway challenge? Sure, they both tripped a bit, but it felt more like watching a challenge from one of the early episodes rather than the big final moment. And I'm sorry, but Lianna just looked bored and scared during it; the final outcome was very similar to this past cycle of ANTM where they boosted the winner's chances by showing you their portfolio rather than basing it solely on their final performance. Not that I would ever suggest that the outcome of these shows is predetermined in any way.

And with that, we bid farewell to the Fiercefile™ for the time being. What the hell am I going to do on Wednesday nights now?!?