Today's Government-Mandated Election Content

This morning brought the above ad banner to my Internets web browser, very appropos for the current Election Fever™ sweeping the good ol' USA. But take a look at the small print:


If the thought of a $100 gorgefest at The Olive Garden (a good $75 of which would easily go towards the Italian Wine Service®) doesn't make my heart swell with Neil Diamond-esque patriotic pride, nothing will.

Well, except maybe watching Neil, his shiny shirt and borderline jingoism in action back in the day:



TODAY!