JOHN ON JOHN™: Birthday Horoscope

Since today is my birthday, I thought I would act only slightly more self-centered than usual and offer this entertaining scan of my horoscope, courtesy of this month's InStyle Magazine. It's pretty much spot-on except for the "assertive" thing. And I really have always felt a cosmic connection between myself and Demi Moore, especially that whole naked and pregnant magazine cover schtick. We Scorpios certainly do all act alike!