Thursday, November 30, 2006

FIERCEFILEā„¢: Dance Hall Days

The penultimate episode of this cycle of ANTM was a nicely paced hodgepodge of al things Top Model: we got a model breakdown, a heart to heart with Miss J, one-on-one coaching from Tyra, and a health scare! What more can you ask for?


Granted, the flamenco dance stuff was a bit ho-hum. But bringing back a photographer for the initial challenge was a very welcome development as it laid the pressure on thicker than Tyra's upper arms. And it led to the scene we've all been waiting for this entire cycle:


Melrose got pwned, bee-yatch! Yeah, that's right crybaby, it's Final Four time and you just don't measure up. "Dancing is my life!" she choked. Too bad her "life" wasn't good enough to beat lazy-faced Eugena this time, whose scripted-sounding declaration of "I've got rhythm" briefly made me think they'd hired Michael Richards to do script polishing.


Then came My Dinner With Miss J, wherein the obviously hung over Queen of the Runway imparted some pearls of wisdom before the swine that is Melrose monopolized the conversation.


But then came that photoshoot, wherein the models had to team up in pairs and listen to Tyra sling insults and instructions at them from over the edge of a freezing cold swimming pool. At least this meant Canadian short man Jay Alexander kept his trap shut more than usual. But it all became too much for CariDee, whose lack of insulation got the best of her and led to what was potentially our second hospital trip this cycle -- but unfortunately only resulted in some poolside towel wrapping and an all-too brief brush with some paramedics.


Of course, no emergency medical help could save Amanda from meeting her fate. Her Photoshop-requiring face shot even made Eugena's dead eyes look good this week. So the FInal Three fall into place as expected, and we're in for an all-out bitchfest between Melrose and the Anti-Melrose Alliance. My money's still on CariDee -- Eugena will unfortunately be eliminated first after they devise a test that specifically targets her eyes, then Melrose will crack under pressure. Or not.

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