Monday, November 27, 2006

FIERCEFILEā„¢: At Least They Didn't Do A Photoshoot During The Running Of The Bulls

Yeah, I know this is way late but I'm not gonna let a little thing like timeliness rob me of the chance to write about this cycle's "go see" episode! I finally got to catch up on the Sunday rerun last night, and am I glad I did...definitely a cycle highlight so far, with the remaining five splitting into three factions to conquer the Madrid transit system (which apparently consists of nothing but cabs) -- and Melrose proved that her army of one was superior to those other girls teaming up and being pansies. Man, the twins were practically a portrait in dysfunction, what with them seeing the fewest designers and getting back late. So of course Melrose won yet another challenge, so once again we got to see her clap and say "YAY" like a small child who's been dropped on their head one too many times.

Nothing beats Jay Manuel dressed up like a matador. Really. I'm almost as speechless about it as the models were, who had to be coerced by Jay himself into cheering at the sight of his three foot seven inch frame tucked into a costume fit for a black velvet painting. And what was the deal with his makeup? He was practically a short-haired, blonde, ethnically ambiguous version of Robert Smith...but, like, in a matador costume. And that fake showdown between Jay and the models and the raging bull was pretty sweet too; nothing goes a long way like bad editing in a reality show.

And then the moment to beat all moments, the Earth-shattering bombshell that made this A Very Special Episode Of America's Next Top Model: CariDee let her midwestern freak flag fly and lobbed a crude joke Nigel's way. Oh, CariDee...haven't you learned that the people who actually do have sticks up their asses really don't find it funny when it's pointed out to them? You poor, misguided creature. I think her sincere letter to the judges (on torn-out notebook looseleaf no less) is what saved her ass, because her hootchie mama photoshoot wasn't doing her any favors.

But it was Eugena who finally shined, grabbing the bull by the horns so to speak, and ending up with the episode's best photo. Even though she lost out to Melrose on the go see challenge, she definitely earned her top slot. But we'll see if it lasts, since Wednesday will see the revelation of who makes it to the final three. Bring on the end of the other twin! She won't be interesting at all anymore now that her sister's gone!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, I am, like, so psyched for the next episode! At first I thought this season was lame, all the girls were ugly, and now that Monique is gone, no one is publicly fake urinating anymore -- but now I see that we get not one, but TWO hospital episodes? It's like finally getting that pony for Christmas.
--Ice Cait

2:41 PM  
Blogger John Eats said...

Completely and utterly agreed. This could be the greatest cycle EVER.

Well, not really. But two hospital episodes would definitely make up for including AJ and Megg. And some of the bad writing. But not for Miss J's awful wardrobe during the panels.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanted to rip Megg's head off and feed it to a dingo.
Ice Cait

6:05 PM  

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