An Adult Star Is Born

After having rewritten the Bayside school song, having mercilessly beaten the piss out of Horshack, and having managed to teach us all how to sacrifice our queen you would think Dustin Diamond's "Things to do Before I Die" list would be all checked off...but you'd be wrong.

Diamond has chosen to topple a question that's as old as time itself, "How do I nail two women, videotape it, get paid for it, and avoid that pesky 'adult actor' label?" Using a scheme worthy of Zach Morris, the sleeze bag himself reveals his secret in an interview with Us Weekly:

Diamond...claims he and some pals each made sex tapes as a joke. He says that someone leaked his tape, but insists he doesn't know who.

The classic joke among friends (taping yourself with two "roofied" women who were lured back to your nearly foreclosed home) was turned against our protagonist. But unlike Paris he isn't just going to lie down and take it (pun intended). He's taking it to the bank by taking a cut of the profits.

As for the instant cinema classic, the film--set to release next month--has a working title of "Saved by the Smell," a title which the New York Daily tactfully explains to us:

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Be sure to check back as the Editor in Chief of JohnEats supplies streaming audio of his immediate reaction while watching the film.