Monday, September 25, 2006

ENTERTAINMENT DROPPINGS: Asshole With Ascot Attempts To Steal Car has video proof that everyone's favorite Asshole With An Ascot Jeremy Piven has resorted to attempted carjacking in his desperate bid for the world's attention. Well, actually it's more like he got in the wrong car by accident, and of course it's all the valet's fault so he doesn't really deserve a tip, does he? God, what an asshole.


Blogger Crispinus said...

So, like, what's your deal with JP anyway? I don't get it. Did he steal your skateboard or something?

9:09 AM  
Blogger John Eats said...

It's all a matter of geography, my friend.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Psychictoad said...

I think the primary issue that JohnEats takes is based on a recent study done here in the Chicagoland area. Researchers at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago studied 15,000 aspiring actors in the Chicagoland area who also had some form of STD. The study concluded, "The top three transmitters of STDs among aspiring actors in the Chicago-land area are as follows: #3) Public toilet seats (8.5%); #2) Sex with partner (14.25%); and the number one transmitter of STDs in the Chicago-land area is...Jeremy Piven (77.25%)." Thanks for helping stop JP-spread STDs, JohnEats. (And yes all major research institutions present their research in the same way that David Letterman does his Top Ten list)

11:38 AM  
Anonymous "A" said...

JohnEats owned a skateboard??? ;-)

I once saw a couple high school girls laughing at Mr. Piven while I was on lunch, and he said something like "oh, that's great." (I'm paraphrasing. It was a few years ago.)

The deal with JP is that he's an ass.

3:51 PM  

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