Tuesday, August 29, 2006

CRUISEWATCH™: T-Cru Announces Multimillion Dollar Investment Deal With Perpetually Dancing Old Man


In a move that doesn't reek of desperation whatsoever, Tom Cruise has angrily picked up his toys, stuck his thumb on his nose while saying "Nyah, nyah," and inked a development deal with three of the major players in the currently bankrupt Six Flags theme park corporation after his very public and very humiliating dismissal from Paramount last week.

Personally, I can't wait for Cruisemania™ to sweep through the Six Flags theme parks, leading to name changes for major attractions (roller coaster Rolling Thunder will obviously be re-branded Days of Thunder), the replacement of the edutainment films at the Pictorium Theater with Vanilla Sky, and the all-new Risky Business Stage Experience featuring a whitey tighty-clad Bugs Bunny dancing to "Old Time Rock 'n Roll."

Plus, the new Eyes Wide Shut Hall of Mirrors should be a big draw for the teen set.

3 Comments:

Anonymous "A" said...

I can't wait for the kids at the entrance who will ask if you'd like to step over to the table for a free "auditing."

4:40 PM  
Blogger Psychictoad said...

That is some impressive Photoshop work there, my fellow consumer of the same name. I think a tear ran down my cheek when I saw it. You are one of a dying breed. I sleep a little better at night knowing that there are still artists creating works of extreme beauty and not all of them have been lured into the high-glamour lifestyle of the "sandwich artists". Keep the dream alive.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Crispinus said...

Isn't that "Old Man" supposed to be Elmer Fudd?

Vewy Scawy if twue.

5:00 PM  

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